Cooking: Faux Sausage

This is another work in progress, but as it is, it's surprisingly good.

I had this one lonely portobello mushroom cap that didn't make it into the Slow Cooker Vegetable Lasagna, so I got to thinking how I could make it taste sort of like breakfast sausage.  The process was definitely "kitchen alchemy".  I knew the earthy sort of taste that a portobello has and tried finding spices in the pantry (by smelling them) that would give it a sort of sausage taste.

In truth, it's more of a fried, breaded mushroom.  But it's not bad.

What you need:
1 cleaned portobello mushroom cap, stem removed, and cut into quarters
flour
ground sage
ground cumin
garlic powder
Olive oil

In a shallow plate, mix together your flour, sage, cumin, and garlic powders.  How much you need depends on the size of the mushroom cap.  And you might want more spices in your flour mix.

In another shallow dish, pour a little olive oil, enough to cover the bottom.  Dip all sides of one piece of mushroom in the olive oil, adding more if necessary.

Dip all sides of the oiled mushroom into the flour mixture.  Place the piece in a skillet, and do the other three pieces the same way.

Brown the mushroom on all four flat-ish sides.  When you're on the fourth side (I'd finish up on either the gill or top side), place a lid on the skillet and continue cooking until fork-tender.  Blot excess oil out with paper towels.  Serve hot.

I'm out of ground mustard, and I think this recipe could use it.  I also should have probably included something like brown sugar in the flour mixture, although maple syrup may work.

What stunned me was that the mushroom pieces had the look of a sausage patty when done, and almost the texture.  Although I could taste the flour, the seasonings worked fairly well with it.

Cooking: Slow Cooker Vegetable Lasagna

I remember a friend telling me about veggie lasagna.  I tried it years ago, but last night, I decided to make it in the slow cooker.  This was the result.

What you'll need:
1 large Italian squash, thin julienne
4 large carrots, thin julienne
15 oz ricotta cheese
16 oz box lasagna noodles
32 oz. tomato sauce
Parsley, Rosemary, thyme, basil, oregano, Italian seasoning, pepper -- to taste
1 large Portobello mushroom, chopped
1 small onion, chopped
2 Tbsp. garlic, minced
4 packets Turbinado (raw) sugar (optional)
Mozzarella cheese, shredded
Olive oil

Rub (or spray) olive oil on the bottom and sides of the slow cooker.

Mix the mushroom into the sauce with the seasonings and the garlic.  Put 1/3 of the sauce on the bottom of the slow cooker.

Break 1/3 of the noodles onto the pasta sauce.  Now add half of the squash, carrots, and onion.

Spread a layer of ricotta cheese, using half of it.  Break another third of the lasagna noodles on top of this layer.

Spread 1/3 of the sauce on top of the noodles.  Put the rest of the vegetables on top, followed by another layer of ricotta, spread out as good as you can get it.  Top with the last of the lasagna noodles, broken up.

Top with the last of the sauce.

Put the lid on top and set the slow cooker for 6 hours on high.  After 3 hours, give it a stir.  This will permit the top noodles a chance to absorb enough moisture to cook properly.

When it's done, put Mozzarella shreds on top, put the lid back on, and allow the cheese to melt.

Serve and enjoy.

Cooking: Strawberry Yogurt Pancakes

Okay, I got to make my Strawberry Banana Protein Shake, but that leaves me with another three strawberry yogurt containers.  So I got to thinking about it and saw no reason why I couldn't make pancakes with yogurt.  I know it looks like an ordinary pancake, but I swear there are bits of strawberry lurking inside.

What you'll need:
1 6 oz. container of strawberry yogurt
2 cups self-rising flour
1/4 tsp. salt
2 packets of turbinado (raw) sugar
1/2 cup milk
Cooking spray

Spray a skillet with cooking spray.

In a large bowl, blend the ingredients.

Pour your first pancake.  When the edges look firm, flip it.  When this one is done, spray your pan and repeat these last two steps until you're out of batter.

My batch made four pancakes.  They turned out just right.

Cooking: Strawberry Banana Protein Shake

Here we go again with the tofu.  :-P  But hey, I used some yogurt in it, at least.  And yes, I am a Starbucks fanatic. This stuff comes out incredibly thick.  Bring a spoon.

What you'll need:
1 6 oz. container of strawberry yogurt
1 brick soft tofu
1 medium banana, broken into chunks by hand
1 tsp. honey

Place everything in the blender.  Put it on "liquefy".  Scrape down the sides.  "Liquefy" again.  Scrape.  "Liquefy".  Now it's ready to serve.

Cooking: Chicken Pepper Stir-Fry

I started this thinking I was going to make a breakfast scramble.  But by the time I had the veggies sauteing, I couldn't resist making it a stir-fry instead.

What you'll need:
12.5 oz can of chicken, with liquid
1/2 cup each: green, red, yellow, and orange bell peppers, chopped
2 cups white mushrooms, sliced
1 tsp. cornstarch
crushed red pepper flakes, soy sauce, teriyaki sauce -- to taste
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 package of Rice-a-Roni Long Grain and Wild Rice

In a pot, prepare rice per directions, or substitute olive oil for the butter/margarine.

Put olive oil in skillet.  Place vegetables in skillet, coat, and saute on medium heat until soft.

Add chicken, breaking up larger chunks.  Throw in cornstarch and seasonings, blend well.

Serve chicken mixture on top of a bed of rice.  There should be enough for two servings.

Cooking: Butterfinger Protein Shake

This is an "eyes roll back into head" tasty recipe.  It was so good this morning, that I told my friend my new "If I won the lottery, the crazy thing I would do would be..." idea.  That idea?  To bathe in this drink.

What you need:
1 brick of soft tofu, drained
2 2.1 oz. Butterfinger candy bars

Throw the ingredients into the blender and hit "grind".  Scrape down the sides, and hit "liquefy" to really get it mixed well.  Pour and serve.  Melt into candy bar coma.

Cooking: Yummy Mushroom Personal Pizzas

This is a spin on an Atkin's recipe I found when I was in the hospital earlier in October 2013.  It was fairly simple: use a portobello mushroom cap as the "pizza crust" and top with whatever toppings you desired.

Well, here's my version.

What you need:
1 Portobello mushroom cap, stem removed
1 small jar of pizza sauce
1 Tbsp. onion, coarsely chopped
1 Tbsp. green bell pepper, diced
Turkey pepperoni
Mozarella cheese, shredded
1 Tbsp. garlic, minced
Olive oil
Season to taste: black pepper, rosemary, thyme leaves, Italian seasoning, oregano, basil, sucralose (optional)

First, take a damp cloth/paper towel to clean off the mushroom caps.  Remove the stems, but save them to throw back into your sauce.

Brush the mushroom caps down with olive oil.  Place on a cookie sheet or in a skillet that can handle high heat.

Cook mushroom caps at 425 degrees Fahrenheit until the caps feel tender when poked with a fork.

Meanwhile, work on the sauce.  Empty the jar of sauce, add the garlic and seasonings.  *You can omit the sucralose or use some other kind of sweetener.  It all depends on whether you want to cut the acidity of the sauce or not.  I prefer the acidity cut, so I use sweetener.  Chop up the mushroom stems and place that into the sauce too.

Get your other toppings ready.

When the caps are tender, remove them from the oven, top with sauce (as thick as you like), add cheese, add toppings, and if you like more cheese, add more to the top of the other toppings.

Broil the pizza until the cheese on top is nice and toasty.

It amazed me just how utterly delicious these were.  I made two, and that was enough for me.  But given that the directions are for just one mushroom cap, you can adjust it to serve more people.

You don't have to use the toppings I used.  Anything that pairs well with mushrooms can be used.  Just remember you're dealing with a small area, so throwing a T-bone steak on that mushroom cap probably won't work.

Cooking: Banana Orange Shake

Turbinado sugar was just the thing for this recipe.  It gives it the right "sweet," while enhancing the fruit flavors.

Edit #1:

What you need:
1/4 cup orange juice
1 medium banana, broken into pieces by hand
1 brick of soft tofu

Edit #2: 2 packets of Turbinado (raw) sugar

Put all ingredients into a blender.  Place the blender on "liquefy".  After running it for a minute, turn it off, scrape down the sides, and give the mix a taste.  If you think it needs a bit more orange juice, then add some and "liquefy" again.

I can tell you that as the recipe is now, it helps you feel a sense of well-being.  It made me feel a bit relaxed.

Hobby Tip: Budget-Friendly Shopping #1

I decided I wanted to introduce a series of articles about some budget-friendly shopping for cooking and crafts.  Now these stores are located in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex area, so if you have different ones where you live, please share with us.

The first one that comes to mind is Dollar Tree:

You can find some food (a nice place for seasonings), some cooking utensils, and a few crafting items.  Their crafting supplies can be quite random.  I've seen glue sticks there, along with other assorted items.  If you're into crocheting/knitting, don't expect to find yarn here.

Edit: I'm not sure about other Dollar Tree stores, but this one I visited accepted EBT cards for food stamps.

Now if you don't mind slightly more expensive, but typically cheaper than Wal-mart, you can always try Big Lots:

Again, this is a pretty good place for seasonings, and you can normally find name-brand food items that are cheaper than Wal-mart's prices.  Like yesterday, I saw some Pringles chips being sold for $1.20, which is $0.30 cheaper than Wal-mart.

You can find quite a few kitchenware items here, including small appliances.

With crafts, it is an okay place for scrapbooking, and they do carry yarn, just not really big skeins of it.

Edit: I learned that this particular Big Lots (and maybe all others, I'm not sure, so don't quote me on that) does not accept EBT.  I found that ludicrous, given that the nearby Dollar Tree (which is cheaper than Big Lots) did accept that form of payment.  Other budget-friendly stores accept the card just fine.

Salmon Vegetable Stir-Fry

This probably isn't anything like a "traditional stir-fry", but when you're hungry and in need of something low in carbs, this will do nicely.

What you need:
2 cups bell pepper strips (green, red, and yellow), frozen
1 cup sweet peas, frozen
1 cup sweet corn, frozen
1 small can of salmon, with liquid
1 tsp. Ponzu Shoyu
1 tsp. Kombu Dashi
1/2 tsp. Ginger paste
1/4 tsp. Lemongrass paste
Chinese Five Spice and Cayenne, to taste
Cooking spray

Spray a wok with olive oil cooking spray.

Add vegetables and salmon.  Break salmon up into smaller pieces, if needed.

Add seasonings and turn on the heat.

Cook until vegetables are tender and almost all liquid has evaporated.

You can serve this on top of rice, if you wish, but I felt too "carbed out" at the time and opted for satisfaction with vegetables and meat.

It received the "Kitty Seal of Approval" while it cooked.  And it has the right amount of "that something" taste that it needed.  Pity I didn't have any chow mien noodles to try with it.  It might be pretty good with chow mien noodles.

Cooking: Chipotle Turkey Bacon Egg Breakfast Sandwich

I decided to up the ante with the Chipotle Turkey Bacon this morning.  I made a breakfast sandwich using it.

What you'll need:

Tub margarine

2 slices of 100% Whole Wheat bread

4 slices of Chipotle Turkey Bacon

1 slice of cheese

Mayonnaise

1 Tbsp. butter, melted

1 large egg

Salt and Pepper, to taste

Start off by lining a cookie sheet with aluminum foil.  Then lightly spread a little margarine on both slices of bread.  Place the spread side down on the foil.  Bake in a 350 degree Fahrenheit oven until toasted.

While the toast is... err... toasting...  Cook the bacon per the directions given in the link.

As the bacon cooks, in a smaller skillet, melt the butter, crack the egg, and season per your tastes.  I'm trying to stay away from salt these days, so I just peppered mine.  Put a lid on the skillet to cook the egg until all of the egg white looks done.  If you like an even drier egg, cook it until the yolk is lighter in color.

Your toast should be ready, so serve it on a plate, put a slice of cheese on one, and mayonnaise on the other.  Put the bacon on the cheese, and then the egg.  Put the mayonnaise side down to top your sandwich, and enjoy.

Trust me, it may not look like a lot, but it's just enough to tide you over until lunch.

Kitchen Tip: Frying an Egg

Would you believe I learned how to fry a proper sunny-side up egg from watching my former roommate play one of the Metal Gear Solid games?

The secret is simple, really.  Just cover the skillet with a lid.  Now granted, it's preferable that you can use a lid that actually fits the skillet.  But I couldn't find a smaller lid in the collection that would fit this skillet, so I dealt with the overlap.  It still produced the desired results for my breakfast sandwich.

Kitchen Tip: Removing Caked-on Gunk from Slightly Worn Teflon-coated Cookware

Today I had a daunting task.  I had some honey and Dijon mustard that had charred and coated the bottom of a skillet.  It was on there but good, even with a good scouring with a handmade scrubbing pad made of plastic bags.

I didn't have the time, patience, or energy to stand there for hours trying to scour it off with my Teflon-safe scrubbie.  I wasn't about to ruin it further with something more abrasive.

What to do?

I filled the skillet with water and heated it.  Using a plastic serving spoon, I scraped off the easier bits with that without harming the skillet.  To remove the tougher stuff, I dumped the water, rinsed the skillet, and refilled it with water.

I heated the water with some baking soda.  After letting the "soup" bubble for a few minutes, I used the spoon to scrape some more.  This managed to dislodge the rest of the char, and all I had to do was let the skillet cool enough to wash out the baking soda residue.

Cooking: A New Spin on Ramen Bricks

Ah yes.  The poor college student's "favorite" food: ramen brick.  And after a while of eating the salty things, they get pretty darned boring, right?  Well, not mine.

To be honest, it was ramen that got me started on the whole "kitchen alchemy" thing.  Because I soon discovered that if I add a bit of this or that, it made the ramen taste good.

What you'll need:
Broth or extra bouillon (depending on the flavor of ramen brick; this one is beef)
1 can mixed vegetables
1 brick firm tofu, cubed
1/4 cup green bell pepper, chopped
1 stalk of celery, sliced
Crushed Red Pepper Flakes, to taste
Onion flakes, to taste
Garlic powder, to taste
1 ramen brick, with bouillon packet

If you use broth, you don't need water.  If you use water instead, just use the required amount.

Cut open and drain the tofu brick.  Cut it into small cubes.

Prepare your vegetbles.  Put those, the tofu, and the seasonings into the liquid.

Turn the mixture on medium.

While you wait, if you like your ramen spoon-sized, then crush it and remove the seasoning packet.  Go ahead and add the seasoning packet to the broth mixture.

When the liquid cooks down a little, add your ramen.  Cook it for 3 minutes, and serve.

You know how the package for the ramen says it makes two servings?  When you get done with making this version of ramen, you should have at least four servings.  And the tofu gives you some protein.

I've tried all kinds of spices, soy sauce, and teriyaki sauce in different versions of this (but without the tofu), and I've had lots of tasty success.

The only failure I had involved not realizing that the shaker wasn't in place when I was adding crushed red pepper flakes to the ramen.  I wound up dumping half the container into it.  The former roommate and I managed to sort of eat it--after dumping a lot of Ranch dressing into it.

Cooking: Steel-cut Oatmeal Pancakes

Remember my Experimental Steel-cut Oatmeal Funnel Cakes?  I found out that the batter works better as pancakes.

What you'll need:

2 cups of steel-cut oats, cooked

2 cups of self-rising flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

3 Tbsp. sugar

1 tsp. powdered ginger

1 tsp. cinnamon powder

1/2 tsp. nutmeg powder

1 large egg

1/2 cup milk, more or less

Cooking Spray

Spray a small skillet with cooking spray.  Put it on medium heat.

Blend together everything except the oil.  If you need the batter to be more pourable, then add more milk.  

Pour the batter into the skillet, filling the bottom.  Let the mixture get bubbly and the edges solidified.

Flip pancake over with spatula.  Get both sides nice and golden brown.  Move to a plate.

Spray the skillet again and keep making pancakes.

You can serve these with butter and your favorite syrup, if you want.

Cooking: The One Egg, Two Cheese Omlette

Yes, I made an omlette this morning out of just one large egg.

I used the smallest skillet I had for this.  Please note, that when it comes to the cheeses, it's okay if it's grated, singles, or whatever you can get, but it needs to be thin enough to melt properly, or you wind up with scorched egg.

To make it, you need:

1 large egg
1 tsp. milk
Two different cheeses (I used some Velveeta singles, with some Velveeta sharp cheddar singles)
Salt and pepper, if you want it
Cooking spray

Spray your skillet with cooking spray.  Turn heat to medium.

In a small glass, measuring cup, or whatever, break the egg, add the milk, and if you want salt and pepper, add those too.  Scramble the mix well and pour it into the skillet.

Be sure to get the egg mixture up around the sides of the skillet, to give you more surface for the cheese.

When the egg mixture begins to set, carefully move a spatula or other thin utensil around the sides of the pan to loosten the egg.

Place your cheese on one half of the egg and fold the other side over the cheese.  Cook until the cheese is melted and just slide that baby onto your eagerly-waiting plate.

Cooking: Spicy Honey Dijon Mustard Turkey Bacon

Oh man!  Not another turkey bacon post!  Come on!  Give us something else!

Sorry.

This rather simple recipe should be shared.  And I'm sure it can be adapted to regular bacon too.

Those round-looking things on the bacon are mustard seeds.  I found a jar of some very grainy Dijon mustard at the 99 Cent Only store.  To really make the stuff spreadable, you pretty much have to add something to it.

To mae this version of turkey bacon:

4 slices of turkey bacon
1 1/2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
1 Tbsp. Honey
Crushed Red Pepper Flakes, to taste

Mix the last three ingredients in a small bowl.

Spread your bacon in a skillet.  With a basting brush, smear the top surface with half of the mixture.

When the bottom side needs to be flipped, smear it with the rest of the mixture.  Cook bacon until done.

Cooking: Protein Heath Shake

Now I know this is going to sound way beyond crazy.

But I decided to see what would happen if I took a brick of soft tofu and added some bite-sized Heath bars and threw them into a blender.  Here was the result:

The result was surprisingly tasty.  But I only had 9 Heath bars, and I think it could use more. 

To make this, you need:

12+ bite-sized Heath bars (more may be needed, depending on your tastes)

1 brick of soft tofu

Throw the Heath bars into the bottom of the blender.  Add the tofu.  Put that baby on grind.

Scrape down the resulting mix a few times, putting the mix on pulse each time.

Serve in your favorite glass.

The reason I think you'll need more Heath bars (more than 9 anyway) is that I could still taste a little bit of the tofu.  So if there's more, this little shake should taste absolutely awesome.

Who would have thought you could make Heath bars into something a little bit healthy to consume?

Upcycling: Prepping Cardboard Tubes

I've got an "itch" I've just got to "scratch".  And by "itch," I mean I have another craft project in mind.  And my "scratch," I mean it's time to start cutting up some of these toilet paper and paper towel tubes.

I have yet to decide just what the 1 inch lengths of cardboard will become.  But here's how I'm making my latest "crafter mess".

I'm using a shoelace to help me trace lines around the tubes at 1 inch intervals.  That's where the ruler comes in.  Finally, I use the pencil to draw my lines.  When I've finished drawing on my tube, I take the X-Acto knife and cut my lengths of tube.

There are so many ideas on Pinterest for these bits of cardboard, but like I said, I haven't really gone to the planning stage yet.  I'm just breaking things down for later use.

Silly Mia!  You're using sharp, pokey instruments to cut the cardboard, so you'd better put your disclaimers and such!

Ahem.

Please note that knives are very, very sharp.  When you use them repeatedly, like for cutting cardboard, they become dull.  When they become dull, there's a greater risk that the blade will slip and cut you severely.  So for the love of Pete, be extremely careful!  Please don't "zone out" like I did one time grating a potato.  Wound up with a sliver of my thumb in the hash browns.  :-<

To resharpen the blade (It can be done with X-Acto too, to a degree), use one of the sharpening tools that cooks use.

Now a tip about cutting the tubes: the seam.  It's best to cut the seam first.

I apologize for the poor quality of this photo.  Hopefully you can see the line near my thumb, and you can see the faint line of the seam curve diagonally.

The reason you want to cut here first: the cardboard is thicker here.  But again, be very careful as you rock the tip of the X-Acto blade back and forth on the line.

Also, please be aware that toilet paper tubes can differ in length.

Upcycling: What to do with Empty Creamer Containers

If you love your coffee and you buy the really large containers of coffee creamer, you eventually have an empty canister.  But it's still a perfectly good container after you wash it.

So what can you do with it once you clean it?  Well, for one, the canister is made of food-grade plastic.  So you can pour flour, corn meal, or other food powders in one.  They're more sturdy than a 2 liter bottle, so you won't have to worry about them being crushed if you like putting your flour in the freezer (I learned the "put grain powders in the freezer" trick as a way to keep weevils from ruining it.)

I've also used these coffee creamer containers for sucralose (Splenda).  They're perfect for dispensing a little bit for my coffee.

Then there's the fact that these can be handy for storing your upcycling materials as you break them down for use.  For instance, let's say you break down plastic bags to make plarn (plastic yarn).  Where will you store all of those plastic strips you're making?  

There are other ways to reuse these containers, so think about what you need around the house and use these instead of just tossing them.

Cooking: Chipotle Turkey Bacon

Just in case you found the "sweet and spicy turkey bacon" to be too complicated just after waking, this recipe should be easy even for a zombie.

What you need:
Chipotle pepper sauce, to taste
4 strips of Turkey bacon

Spread the bacon out in a skillet.

Drizzle some chipotle pepper sauce on each slice.  Smear the sauce as evenly as possible on each slice.  I used my fingers.

If you're not familiar with chipotle pepper sauce, you don't taste the heat until after eating whatever it's in for a bit.  It's kind of smoky in flavor, and to me has a mild kind of heat.  They list it as "medium" heat on the bottle, but it's not all that bad to me.

Cooking: Ancho Tilapia Soup

I was famished when I got back home, so I needed something relatively quick to fix.  So I just started with a couple of frozen tilapia fillets as the base, and went from there to make this spicy delight.

What you'll need:
2 fillets of tilapia, frozen
1 cup green bell pepper, chopped
1 small can of mushroom, stems and pieces, with liquid
1 can diced Italian tomatoes, with liquid
1 can of yellow hominy, with liquid
1 can of whole white potatoes, with liquid
1/4 cup turkey bacon bits
2 1/2 cups cold water
1/4 tsp. fennel seed
1 tsp. Parsley flakes
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
2 Tbsp. Onion flakes
1/4 tsp. Garlic powder
1/4 torn ancho chili pepper, dried
Salt and Black pepper, to taste

When adding the potatoes, break them up into bite-sized pieces with your fingers.  Place the rest

of the ingredients into the pot, cover, and let simmer on medium heat.

When tilapia can be broken up, break it up with a spoon until they're roughly bite-sized bits.

The fennel seed give this soup a surprising flavor when you bite into them.  And the ancho chilis will make your sinuses beg for mercy.  Still, when you're hungry, cold, or both, this soup will do the trick.

One day, I plan to try this recipe with some black beans and maybe leave out the bacon bits.  I decided to wait on adding salt until I knew what it tasted like when done.  It only needs a little to bring out the other flavors.

Upcycling: Kindle Fire HD Cover

I finished this on October 19, 2013.  I didn't take a picture of the interior, because personally, the harness and leaf-covers just look kludged together.  But the outside is rather lovely.  I need to figure out the holder for the Kindle before I try marketing these.

Believe it or not, those cover leaves are quite sturdy for maybe 1/8th an inch thick, at most.  To give the cover that look similar to those multi-colored wooden inlays you see on knives, I sanded the paper down and applied several layers of polycrylic to seal it and make it wet-proof.  Though it won't do the Kindle any good if it gets dunked.  :-P

The cover leaves take a week of work, so a friend suggested to streamline the process with a mold.  I just need a better harness system to hold the Kindle in its cover.  I think maybe some elastic to attach the Kindle by the corners.  I saw an attachment system like that on another Kindle cover at Wal-mart.

I'll figure out something though.  As long as it looks better than rumpled Fed Ex material.  :-P

Cooking: Experimental Steel-Cut Oatmeal Funnel Cakes

Well, it's meant to be made like a funnel cake, except the oatmeal is intended to give it more "tooth".  And since the seasonings used in the funnel cakes also work with oatmeal, I thought I'd give this a try.  I suppose "deep-fried oatmeal" would also be accurate.

Now in case you're wondering what the heck "steel-cut oats" are, they're also known as "Irish Oats" and "Pin Oats".  It's an oat grain that's been cut in half, instead of squished between rollers like "quick oats".

I'd lost the original funnel cake recipe I'd found on Allrecipes.com, so I just winged it.  They taste pretty good, but the oatmeal gives the cake a different texture.  If you don't mind your funnel cake "chewy," then give this a try.

What you'll need:

Vegetable oil for deep-frying

2 cups of steel-cut oats, cooked

2 cups of self-rising flour

2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

3 Tbsp. sugar

1 tsp. powdered ginger

1 tsp. cinnamon powder

1/2 tsp. nutmeg powder

1 large egg

1/2 cup milk, more or less

Fill a small skillet with an inch of vegetable oil.  Get it hot.

Blend together everything except the vegetable oil.  If you need the batter to be more pourable, then add more milk.  It needs to be runny.

Place batter into a gallon-sized ziploc.  Cut a notch near the top in one side.  That will be your spout.  You'll probably need to make it big enough to let the oatmeal pass through.

Pour batter into sizzling oil, and cook until golden brown.  Carefully turn it.  When done, blot with paper towels to remove excess oil.  Repeat the process.  And if you need more oil, add more to your skillet and keep going, but make sure the oil is good and hot before you pour more batter.  It tends to cool between fryings.

Note: I've since decided this recipe doesn't work all that well with steel-cut oats.  It's tough to pour, it absorbs too much oil, and if too much oil makes your stomach feel yucky, you won't like that.  

So just strip out the steel-cut oats from the recipe and make funnel cakes from the remaining ingredients.

Upcycling: First Batch of "Dragon Egg" Necklaces Finished

Hurray!  I finally got my flittering hummingbird brain to settle long enough to finish one of my projects!  Now I can sell these and make a little money.  I finished the necklaces on October 20, 2013.  The fastest part was crocheting the cotton chains.  The egg holders are all crocheted in random directions, so there's no real "pattern" I"m using, other than "will this hold in this spot?"

By the way, to reduce confusion, the length doesn't refer to the size of the egg.  It refers to the overall length -- chain and pendant.  There's no clasp on these; they simply slip over one's head.

All of the "dragon eggs" are hand-made and hand-painted, right here in Texas.  I made these out of grocery sale advertisements and school glue, painted them, coated them in sealer, and hand-crocheted the thread.  So please help support upcycling efforts.

Sky Blue and Deep Red Dragon Egg, with Light Blue Thread - 14 Inches Long

For Sale - $30

Dark Purple and Green Dragon Egg, with Pink Thread - 14 Inches Long

For Sale - $30

Copper and Peach Dragon Egg, with Three-color Greenish Thread - 15 Inches Long

For Sale - $30

Dark Pink and Iridescent Green Dragon Egg, with Off-White Thread - 12.25 Inches Long

For Sale - $30

Black and Red Dragon Egg, with Off-White Thread - 13 Inches Long

For Sale - $30 

Pink and Pearl Dragon Egg, with Red Thread - 13 Inches Long

For Sale - $30

Green and Yellow (Easter Egg) Dragon Egg, with Green Thread - 13.5 Inches Long

For Sale - $30

Upcycling: Very Simple Cat Toys

I got this idea after seeing something similar to it on Pinterest.  The only thing is the project used the whole toilet paper tube for a toy, and I didn't think either of my cats would go for it.  So this is what I did:

I took the tube and cut it in half.  One half (the one on the left) I folded the ends inward, creating that little pillow shape.  I put some catnip and a few dried beans in it.  So if the scent of catnip doesn't work, the rattling sound should get the cats intersted.  I know one of the girls liked it well enough to kick it around a bit.  And she's one that doesn't play much.

The one on the right, as you can see, sort of looks like a flower (or a height-challenged octopus).  The girls don't like that one as much, but again, the one that doesn't like playing kicked it around some.

There you have it, really cheap cat toys from something we usually throw away.  And if your cats are anything like the ones I've had, the cheaper something is, the more likely they'll play with it.

Cooking: Chicken and Dressing

I thought I'd share an evil little comfort food: chicken and dressing.  There's nothing quite like a bowl of hot, gooey, cornbread dressing that has bits of chicken in it.

By the way, those reddish "bumps" in there are dried cranberries.  Yum, yum, yummy, yum.

What you need:
Cornbread (recipe can be found on just about any bag of cornmeal)
1 cup yellow cornmeal
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 to 4 Tbsp sugar
4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup milk
1 egg
1/4 cup vegetable oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl.

Add wet ingredients and beat well.

Pour the cornbread batter into a well-greased pan and bake until it's a light golden brown.  While it's baking, it's time to prepare the rest of this delectable yum.

Chicken Mixture
1 can chicken meat, with liquid
2 cups chicken broth
3-4 sliced celery ribs
1/2 diced onion
1 Tbsp. minced garlic
Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme leaves, poultry seasoning, and pepper, to taste
1/2 cup dried cranberries

Mix together all ingredients and bring to a simmer.

When the vegetables are firm-tender, crumble and mix in the cornbread (once cornbread is done baking).  It's okay if the cornbread looks like mush.  Just blend everything together really, really well.

Bake the chicken and dressing uncovered in the oven at 350 degrees Fahrenheit until a nice golden brown.

The only other improvement you can make is topping the dressing with chicken or turkey gravy when it's done baking.

Enjoy.  Oh, and you can substitute leftover turkey for the chicken when it's turkey season.  ;-)

Cooking: Olive Tuna Salad

The original recipe was one I found in an old 1990 edition of a Weight Watcher's cookbook.  I didn't have all of the ingredients to make it according to the directions, so I modified it.  Besides, I wanted to use up my romaine lettuce and the last tomato, so I turned the original recipe into a salad.

To make this, you'll need:
1 can of tuna, drained
14 pimiento-stuffed olives, minced
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 small onion, minced
2 Tbsp. mayonnaise
Lemon-pepper, to taste
Marjoram and thyme leaves, to taste
1 tomato, coarsely chopped
1 hard-boiled egg, chopped
1/2 a head of romaine lettuce, hand-torn

In a small bowl, mix the tuna, olives, onion, mayonnaise, lemon-pepper, thyme leaves, marjoram, and boiled egg together.

In a separate bowl, put your romaine lettuce and tomato together.  Top with tuna mixture.

Enjoy.

Two of the baristas at my favorite Starbucks thought this smelled pretty darned good.  One of them really loves tuna, and he was trying to figure out if he was smelling some kind of salad dressing (he was smelling the olives).

I bet some minced ripe (black) olives would be good in this too.

Upcycling: On-the-go Toothpick Dispenser

Do you know of those nummy little chocolate-covered goodies in the plastic tubes at Starbucks?  The goodies like the chocolate-covered almonds, for instance?  I came up with a very simple way to upcycle one of those tubes.

To "make" one of these, first get one of these goodie tubes from Starbucks.

The enjoyable part: empty contents into mouth and eat.

Take the tube home, wash and dry it.  Then fill with toothpics.

To keep it sealed closed while in transit (and to prevent toothpick spillage), you can use a rubber band or a ziploc bag to keep everything together.

This little upcycling project was quite handy when my dear friend needed a toothpick.

Cooking: Sweet Toad-in-a-Hole

It's called by different names: toad-in-a-hole or egg-in-a-basket.  Whatever you call it, there's a tasty modification that is a good accompaniment with the Sweet and Spicy Turkey Bacon.  It definitely helps keep breakfast from being boring, that's for sure.

I think it should be obvious which of these items is the toad-in-a-hole.  :-P  If not, I'll answer your questions in the comments section or edit this post.

Anyway, making this version of toad-in-a-hole is pretty simple:
1 slice of bread
2 Tbsp. butter, melted
Cinnamon and light brown sugar, to taste

Melt the butter in a skillet large enough for your slice of bread.

With your fingers or a cutting tool, remove a piece of bread out of the middle of the slice.  This should be large enough to accommodate the yolk of the egg.

Place the bread and the "bread hole" in the butter.

Crack the egg, trying to get as much of the yolk as you can into the hole in the slice of bread.

Now sprinkle the whole thing with enough cinnamon and brown sugar to suit your tastes.  When the bread is nice and toasty on one side, flip it over and repeat the cinnamon and brown sugar step.

When you serve this, you won't want any syrup.

Cooking: Sweet and Spicy Turkey Bacon

Now here's an experiment I wanted to try with turkey bacon.  I've seen recipes for breading and spicing regular bacon, so I wanted to see what would happen if I used some of the ingredients on turkey bacon.  Well, it comes out amazing!

Note: the turkey bacon is in the upper right

To make this breakfast treat, you'll need:

4 strips of turkey bacon

2 Tbsp. light packed brown sugar

1 tsp. Chinese Five Spice powder

1 tsp. Curry powder

1/4 tsp. Onion powder

Mix the sugar and spices together in a small bowl.  You may have to use your fingers to crumble the brown sugar.

On a clean, flat surface, place the strips of bacon.  Sprinkle the mixture onto the bacon strips, and rub it in.  Flip each slice over and repeat.  You may have to use some of the excess seasoning that has fallen to the side.

Now fry your bacon as you normally would, until it's done enough to your tastes.  Don't be surprised if the pieces stick to each other once you put them on a plate to serve.

Kitchen Tip: Anti-caking Bag

I thought I'd call this a "kitchen tip," since this little project doesn't exactly fit under "upcycling".

I came up with this idea after having my baking powder turn into a "rock" once too often.  Since I don't bake frequently, and moisture gets into the can, I wind up having to "grind" the brick-like substance into powder again.

That gets old in a hurry.

I knew that rice was a good anti-caking agent in salt shakers.  But throwing a handful into the baking powder was just out of the question.  I don't want rice in my cornbread.

I apologize beforehand about the quality of this picture.  I think the camera's flash makes this look too blurry.  But not to worry, I'll describe the process and maybe you can make one for yourself.

I cut a paper coffee filter in half.

Then I put maybe 1 Tbsp. of long-grain rice in the middle.

After that, I carefully bunched up the edges, making sure not to spill the rice.  

Then I twisted the top and wrapped a bread twist tie around the "neck" of the bag.

So it would fit into the can of baking powder, I cut the paper filter above the twist tie.

I haven't had a problem with clumped baking powder since using this little trick.  Please let me know how it works for you.